So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
