how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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