I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
