Where is the hickey?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
