Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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