Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Randomize
