is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
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