I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
