All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
