I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
This toilet bowl is my home.
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