Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
