let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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