im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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