I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
