maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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