u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize