just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
