i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
