The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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