he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize