You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
