perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
My pussy is not your playground.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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