so explain again why im purple
no
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
The adults are the big ones right?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize