Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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