dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
