Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
