I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
kristin has been a bad kristin
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
