He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
