found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
