I just made out with a guy for $7.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
