shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Fuck appropriateness.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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