Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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