I think i sorta joined a cult last night
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Randomize
