As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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