You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
