you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
