i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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