Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
