found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
