apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
