I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
