She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
