i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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