I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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