wanna go halves on a baby?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
