Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
