I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
