I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
