You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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