quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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