I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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