you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize