you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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