I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
