Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
