Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
