youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize