This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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