I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
