Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
