When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize