Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
the liver wants what the liver wants
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
